advice Archives - LadyKflo

Saying Yes Works

Opportunities come to those who say “Yes”. That’s how saying yes works. It’s not because of positivity. That’s just a buzzword – like “realness”. Saying yes works much harder than these tropes. It’s active. Want actual results? Say, “Yes”.

I’ve lived in New York City since 1994. So, I’ve befriended all sorts of fascinating people. Those I love the most are artists, writers, and comedians. In fact, one of my favorite people, Mary Houlihan, does all three. We met in writing class a few years ago. That’s when I first found her intriguing and fun. I’m thrilled that she’s been conquering a multitude of universes since then.

Our friendship stays alive because we’re both YES people. I asked her to write a TV pilot with me. Mary said “Yes”. We wrote it in a flash together. Friendship ensued. Recently, she asked my daughter and me to do bits in her latest project CEO SKYSCRAPER. So, here’s the result posted below. We have tiny parts in Mary’s wacky fun fest web series. See how saying “Yes” works? I’m not pursuing a career as an actress. Neither is my daughter. But we had a total blast. Turns out, it’s showing up prepared that matters most. Be ready to go on cue. Literally.

SAYING YES WORKS

How Saying “Yes” Works

My daughter and I had the most fantastic time shooting these tiny scenes. She got to be cranky and I got to play crazy. What’s radder than that? Both of us were in roles pretty opposite our true selves. That made it more fun and kinda easier too. Neither of us thought about it too much. It’s better that way.

All we had to do was be ready. I’m good at that. When you listen to what people want and prepare to deliver it, your world gets bigger and blossoms. The best part about saying “Yes”? – It takes you somewhere new. You don’t need to plan anything. Go with the flow of whoever asked you. Let them lead the way. After all, they want it more. They’re the one who asked.

Learning lines on the subway ride to the studio felt fun. We showed up at the time on the call sheet emailed the day before. Then we greeted Mary, met some cool people, and shot our scenes. It all took less than an hour. The whole thing was simple breezy goodness. Now we have a fun video on YouTube to remind us of that festive afternoon in a Brooklyn film studio. Saying “Yes” can lead into all sorts of escapades – even uncharted boroughs of opportunity – like Brooklyn.

Saying Yes Makes Work Fun

I love Mary not only because she’s a comedian, writer, and artist. She’s also one of those gregarious people with grit. You know the type. They face challenges. She somersaults through them, in fact. That’s where the fun begins. It’s trendy these days to talk about being “real”. Sure thing… but if you have to point out your realness, it’s probably a crock.

Another trend tells us to focus on the positive. But happiness in all things is easier than these meaningless buzzwords. It takes active and interested people to make work enjoyable. That’s all. Find friends and coworkers that light you up inside. If you have the right person with you, it’s pretty easy to enjoy yourself. Don’t let nerves or fear hold you back. Go ahead and shine.

Nobody needs a mindless bobble head. I’m not into “Yes” men who agree with everything to avoid conflict at any cost. If you’re indifferent, keep walking, baby. I’m not interested. Don’t care? See ya later. I’m interested in those who are interested. We ALL are. That’s what makes people interesting. They’re living full blast.

Give it your heart. Be direct. Say what you mean and mean what you say. That means when you say, “Yes” give it all you got. Back it up with action. Throw yourself into it. This brand of YES is all about gusto. Go for it! Live a little. Believe in your potential to succeed. Say “Yes” next time an offer arises and see how it works for you.

How to Have the Best Day Ever

If only every day could be the best day ever. I could be a hero. You could smile because of me. We would promise to be friends forever. Our lives would have renewed purpose. These are the best days ever. But they’re the best because they can’t happen every day. They stand out – special.

Best Day Ever Boosts

Compliments are always a great boost but you can’t force them. That’s why I often find it more fulfilling to shut the hell up and write. Here’s an example from my Instagram. I pulled out some chalk from the days of yore and hit the streets. Well, the sidewalks, actually. First, I hit the bus stop with my favorite color – purple. What do we need most while waiting? Patience.

Best Day Ever - Patience at the Bus Stop — Best Day Ever – Patience at the Bus Stop

Most of the time I’m a cheerful weirdo. Cheery to a fault – that’s me. But it’s all real. I don’t know why I’m this way. All I know is that it can drive others crazy, especially cranky others. So, I try to lessen this effect. Thus, the anonymity. Writing on the sidewalk talks to strangers. I write boosters and draw hearts but nobody knows it was me. It’s my own pathetic version of espionage. My dearest wish is that it makes somebody smile.

But no matter if it does or not, this helps me have the best day. Giving has this impact. It cheers people up on both sides of the equation. After all, I learned this from friends who did the same with me. It’s the perfect way to learn boosts for best days. Pass on the best stuff and see for yourself.

This is cheater’s justice. The bad actor got a bad outcome. That was the direct result of what he did; not what he intended. Anyone can do this. You don’t need to be cheerful to do it. But it will make you smile when you do.

Making it the best day ever isn’t always about what we’re given. Like they say in Kindergarten, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset”. It’s not about what life hands us. It’s how we handle it. Some of the happiest and coolest people have struggled the most. They are my favorite people. Living in NYC has challenges. It can get people down. Cranks can arise like condors swooping into our space. They can strike at any time. But you don’t have to let crank asses affect you or even dim your light.

After all, flowers poke through both fresh grass and poo. So can you. Sun shines. Buds bloom. So can your mood. Ignore the haters, baby. Let the light shine through. Good morning lives inside you. Share it and pass it on.

Sometimes the sharing can even come first. I’ve taken myself from sad sack to happy pants by giving. It doesn’t work every time. But when it works, it makes all the times (even those epic fails) worthwhile. Find your own way to have the best day ever. Our own special way is always the best.

How to Bond With a Teen

I took my teen daughter to see Panic! at the Disco. We hit Barclay Center together for the show. The two people seated right in front of us taught me a lesson. Specifically, how to bond with a teen – my teen.

Bond With Teen - LadyKflo — How to Bond With Your Teen

A man about my age sat beside his rainbow clad teen son. The boy wore a flowy cape and danced so that it wiggled to the music. He was the happiest teen I’ve ever seen. My daughter smiled when I told her this. She nodded in agreement. The boy’s father appeared less taken with the outfit and dancing. He seemed like a typical guy. Flannel shirt, dad bod, and brewski in hand. But, hey, he was there with his kid. Supportive. Present. His back was stick straight and so was his face at first. But that changed. He was going to learn how to bond with a teen tonight. It was destiny.

The show was exceptional. At one point, Brendan Urie (Panic! at the Disco’s lead singer) walked through the enormous, writhing mosh pit. He hugged teens, complimented funky fresh outfits, shared selfies, and sang with some. It was glorious fun to watch rainbow-clad kids crap themselves with joy. In fact, that was my favorite part of the show. I loved watching the fans. They were ecstatic at this rainbow festival of acceptance. Panic at the Disco has an overwhelming LGBT-friendly vibe. Rainbows litter the arena. It’s a color fest. Lovely. The kid in the rainbow cape thought it was lovely too. He twirled. His dad was less delighted.

Dad Learns to Bond With a Teen

When Urie played Bohemian Rapsody with powerful skill and beauty, the dad sat forward. This performance gripped him. He put the beer down and never picked it back up. The dad sang along. When the song was over he got out of his seat and clapped. He loosened. The rest of the show he stood and smiled. No, he wasn’t the happiest dad there. Some bedazzled dads danced and wore rainbow capes of their own. But this guy arrived stern and left happy. It was beautiful to watch that shift. He learned to bond with a teen – his son.

Nobody loves everything about their teens. Certainly not their rainbow capes and taste in music. But damn we love those kids. Spending time with them can be fulfilling not only because it’s our kid. But also because it helps us grow. That dad grew at that concert. He opened himself up to the experience and it brought him closer to his son. On the way out he put his arm around the rainbow cape. “That guy’s talented,” he said about Brendon Urie.

“That’s an understatement,” his son replied. My daughter laughed. She gave the kid with the rainbow cape a thumbs up.

Music Helps Bond With Our Teen

We bonded that night too. On the subway ride home I thought about Urie’s piano. When he finished walking through the crowd, Urie climbed onto a platform. At the back of the mosh pit his white piano waited on this platform. Urie sat at the piano to play Bonnie Raitt’s I Can’t Make You Love me. While he performed this heart-tugging masterpiece the platform floated toward the stage. It crossed that same mosh pit he’d traversed on the floor. Now he was above them. There was something so touching about it. I cried.

Bonnie Raitt’s Lyrics Helped

While we road home my daughter asked me why I cried. I told her because of the song. It’s about how little agency we have when it comes to love. Also, with Urie singing it to his fans, there’s a double meaning. We all want love. Adoration even. But performers want it most of all. Great ones know to put themselves out there.

They reveal their vulnerability onstage and in their music. Urie’s telling us, “Here I am. I want you to love me. But I can’t make you. I can only sing this song. I can pour my heart out on stage and give you my every ounce of caring. You can still choose not to love me.” That’s real vulnerability, I explained to her. It’s also strength and power. This is the difference between a mighty performance and half-assed BS. If you want to shine you gotta give it your all. If you want love you gotta show it. I cried because that’s a great reminder, I told her. It reminds me what matters. You want reward? Take that risk. Put yourself out there.

To Bond With a Teen Takes Effort

So, to bond with a teen, you have to put yourself out there a bit. It’s tough for me at times. I have this issue where I ask too many questions. It’s always been a challenge for me. I’m a curious person. I don’t much like talking about myself. That means I end up making tons of inquiries. This serves me in most of my life. Co-workers love to talk about themselves. Bosses love a curious employee. And most people enjoy talking about themselves. I’m weird in this way.

But teens are funny when it comes to this. They have fun filling out a zillion questionnaires online about their personality type. They know which Sex & the City character they are, though they’ve never seen the show. Still, if Mom asks them about their day it’s a major hindrance. I often get one word answers when I do this after school. A friend gave some advice though. She said when her teen gets home she mentions something specific about her own day. Maybe it’s a story about a crazy train ride or a quick funny anecdote. Often this gets her teen talking, she explained. It warms them up a bit.

That’s the thing about teens. They realize now that their parents are imperfect. We have flaws like everyone else. It’s easy for kids to see parents as iconic when they’re little because the world was so simple then. But that shine has dulled by teenage-hood. To teens, we’re ordinary people like everybody else. Gone are the essays about how I’m a hero. Sigh. I’m lucky, though. Sometimes I remember not to ask so many damn questions. I open up a bit about myself. This can work. My daughter tells me what’s going on. We’re not best buddies like in Gilmore Girls… but we have a real connection. I’m grateful for that.

Why Panic at the Disco?

When my daughter was a baby, bonding was easy. After all, I had her in my arms most of the time. Now she’s turning fifteen and I average a few hugs a week with her. My daughter spends a lot of time in giant headphones. I can’t complain, though. She’s a great kid. In fact, she teaches me new things all the time. Music is one of them. For instance, once in awhile I ask her what her current favorite song is. It’s a question I still allow myself. We all have our lazy parenting moments, after all. This one often pays off. She’ll play it for me. Sometimes the video and others only the song. This is a way of mini bonding – sharing stuff we like.

That’s how I learned about Panic! at the Disco. It’s one of her favorite bands. I doubt I’d have discovered them on my own. I love their fantastic lyrics, charismatic lead singer, and fun tunes. It’s good time music. My daughter loved telling me the history of the band. They started out edgy and alternative, she explained. Then Brendon Urie, the lead singer, developed it into a singular persona. So, he’s taken over the entire band. The music is more pop-centric and anthem now. But he’s as driven and successful as ever. In fact, he’s quite the performer. Urie owns the stage – shirt or no shirt.

I have a no BS policy and that’s including with my kids. It means I tell them the truth. I don’t mince around. Of course, I try to keep it positive but I don’t pretend to love stuff if I’m not into it. That’s why it was a delight when I liked Panic at the Disco so much. In fact, I bought us tickets to their show at Barclays Center in Brooklyn. It’s a quick subway shot from our home. Of course, I offered to just give them to her. She could take a friend. But she knew I actually liked Panic at the Disco. So, she wanted us to go together. At times like this, parenting feels right. I appreciate these moments. They make it all worthwhile.

Does CBD Oil Cure Pain?

Running races brings joy but sometimes aches and pains too. Kick ’em out! CBD oil is the pain cure people buzz about. But does CBD oil cure pain?

CBD Oil Cure Pain – Buzz or Best?

Here are my natural pain relief solutions. There’s no good reason to endure discomfort if you need not. It’s no badge of honor. There are no medals. It’s just you in unnecessary pain – nothing more.

It’s troubling to read about the current opioid epidemic. This tragedy isn’t measured only in the number dead. There’s also a devastating fact. So many millions suffer with pain. I’ve endured a bit with childbirth and marathons behind me. But I abhor pharmaceuticals. I throw them away – unopened. Turns out that makes me one of the lucky ones. I’ve found other ways to manage pain. My methods are effective, natural, and easy. Some better than others… but all bring relief. CBD oil works best.

Train and Use CBD Oil to Cure Pain

The best way to train is slow and steady. I’ve always been more tortoise than hare. That may be because I grew up running long distances. It’s also my personality. Things take me a long time. I’m tolerant. This has blessed me in pain relief. Sometimes during a run I get a cramp or an ache. But I know from forty years running experience, it will pass. Keep going. These tiny lessons prepared me for the big guns – like marathon cramps. That’s because I have those memories locked in. I know it will pass. All I have to do is get my mind off it and I’ll be fine.

It’s a different sort of pain from real life. There’s nothing chronic about it. It’s temporary during a race. The finish line will feel so exhilarating, it’ll go away. I know the race has this endpoint. Get to that place and it’s over. When I’m forced to feel pain in a race that’s where my mind goes. In fact, I tell myself all sorts of crazy things to get to the end. You never have to do this again! This is the last time you ever have to feel this way! Cross the finish line and it’s your final race!

NEVER GIVE UP!

This sign above hangs on Pier 40. It’s set to fend runners away from a particular area – a nicer way to say “keep out”. But I take it as encouragement. I see it and think. You can do it! That’s because it puts a spark in my step. I’m sharing this mental stuff because it’s important to point out how much pain can be mental. Our minds are powerful. Think of a time when you had a terrific urge to pee. Full bladder and a faraway bathroom make for a fun adventure. Right? It’s a mental challenge getting to that bathroom in time. Pain is the same way. You can get there. Think your way to relief. It just takes practice.

Pain Relief Tactics

Of course, nobody can think their way through all pain. It’s a wretched nag at times. Other times it’s agony. Because I’m a runner, I live with lots of leg pain. Swimming knots up my shoulders and back. I also take a class Arms, Abs & Assets. It kicks my assets so I’m sore for days. There’s no way to think out of these things on a permanent basis. Full blown every day life isn’t a race. Thank goodness. Who needs that kinda pressure? Mental strength helps my aches and pains. But it’s no cure for chronic injury.

I’m grateful that non-prescription pain relief has hit the mainstream. CBD oil has changed my attitude about pain relief. Before CBD I was more of a grin-and-bear-it girl. I had pain. But I sucked it up most of the time. Then I had a back injury in the Fall of 2018.

Every year I like to do a half marathon in October. Sometimes in Brooklyn. Other times it’s Queens. But always in the Fall. A half marathon is 13.1 miles. My favorite runs are long. This is my wheelhouse. Also, it feels terrific racing in the middle of the street. That’s because on the sidelines people cheer. Some wear thrilling costumes. They hold funny or encouraging signs. Don’t Crap Your Pants, Karen! is my personal favorite. The road is all yours. It’s exhilarating joy.

Back Pain Can’t Beat Me

But in the Fall of 2018 my wretched back pain worried me. I feared weakness. What if it held me back? This race meant a lot to me. I was willing to try new things so I could race the marathon. It opened me to options. Friends recommended massage, acupuncture, and CBD oil. I got excited to try them. In my experience, I’d only used epsom soaks and napping. Truth is, those are still my two favorite things. I love a long soak in epsom salt scalding bathwater.

Napping = The G.O.A.T

And napping is my closest, dearest, oldest buddy. During my peak years in advertising I worked 80+ hours a week. The office became more like a home. One of the ways I found solace was napping under my desk. This would be less embarrassing to admit if I’d had an office. I didn’t. We were a hip, young brand consultancy and sat in an open forum. That means I had a quarter cubicle. I napped in public. Everybody saw but I was too exhausted to care. All it takes is 20 minutes and I’m refreshed.

My newest pain relief pal is CBD oil. Please note, this post is 100% unsponsored. Just real talk. I tried 10+ kinds of CBD oil and this is my conclusion.

Did CBD Oil Cure My Pain?

CBD oil works. My writing jobs are all about research. So, I did a thorough background check on this stuff before putting it in my body. I’m real picky about what I put in there. As a next step, I tried a few kinds of CBD. Then I found my favorite. It’s pictured above – Kushy. Yes, this one’s vape oil. But I’m not into vaping. Instead I take a dab on a finger and then put it under my tongue to dissolve.

. Yes, this one’s vape oil. But I’m not into vaping. Instead I take a dab on a finger and then put it under my tongue to dissolve.

Kushy CBD Did the Job

One of the great things about the Kushy brand is their delivery system. It measures the amount with precision. So, I know exactly how much I’m using. Also, this is the strongest CBD I’ve tried. It IS pricey. But Kushy is the most effective brand in my experience. That’s because I use very little and it works fast. In fact, that plunger pictured above I’ve already used six times. Look how much is still in there! I’ll get many more uses out of it. This plunger costs $60. It’s powerful pain reliever and all natural.

I have no side effects with this CBD oil, only positives. But it does smell a bit like pot. So, your breath may resonate essence of Snoop Dogg for an hour or so. But, hey, you feel no pain. Everything has a price. I buy my Kushy online and it usually ships to me within a few days. It’s powerful stuff. You won’t need much. Give it a shot. You haven’t got time for that pain, baby.

Free & Magical Mom Gifts for Every Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day needn’t be daunting. It can be joyful fun. In fact, make it magical for Mom and free for you. Do it with free and magical mom gifts. Here’s how.

Free & Magical Mom Gifts Fill an Empty Basket with Hope

Schools encourage kids to make cards and buy plants for Mother’s Day. It’s a lovely thought and cards play the heartstrings. But this can wear thin for kids as they get older. It can also feel kinda lame to get money from Dad to buy something. Especially when they get into pre-teen and teen years, kids want more agency.

I was a wild and independent kid. But I also wanted to please my Mom. In fact, it meant a lot to me. When Mother’s day rolled around and I was 12 years old, I wanted to go all out. Thing was, I didn’t have any money. I was broke. Not only that, I was notorious BabyKflo. The “naughty one”. I needed a fresh start – a redo. It was Spring, the season of new beginnings. I hopped on my bike and cycled into town. It was a mission to find free and magical mom gifts. I was on my way.

This was going to be her best Mother’s Day ever. I meant business. My wallet was empty. My chances were slim. But my heart fluttered with hope. I could make this happen. At home I’d secreted a basket away in my closet. I found it in our lilac bushes by the roadside. Somebody’d tossed it. They thought it garbage. But I saw its beauty. All I had to do was fill it and I’d win Mother’s Day. Of course, this contest was only in my head… but isn’t everything?

Free & Magical Mom Gifts at the Mall

I parked and locked my bike at the rinky dink mall in town. Luckily, I had my trusty Jordache jean backpack. Even as a kid, I knew to plan ahead. Kid on a mission, I hit the perfume counters. At every brand I told the pretty makeup lady my goal. With no money, I wanted my mom to have a fantastic Mother’s Day. Could she give me some perfume samples to fill a basket for her?

They all said yes. Many gave me several. It was delightful. The perfume samples came coiffed in brand perfection. Each sat in its very own delicate, flirty sleeve. They already seemed “wrapped and ready” to give as a present. I biked home with a bag packed with gifts. My chest pounded with victory. I was going to make her smile. It thrilled me like lightning. I pumped the pedals like my heart’s cartwheels.

At home I filled the empty basket and rearranged it a few thousand times. It was a great gift. I’d already won. But I was also an itchy overachiever. I always wanted to do more. Besides, I still had a few days before Mother’s Day. It was critical to me that my free and magical mom gifts win the day.

Even at twelve years old, I was a writer. So, I decided to write something for her. Not a card – something more meaningful. English class had taught me to stimulate the senses. I’d taken care of that with the basket. She had the gift of fragrance. Sensory mission accomplished. But what about making her feel like a good mom? I was on task.

Write Lists for Free & Magical Mom Gifts

Lists thrill me. They ease my mind when I’m overwhelmed. They satiate my control freak urges. But most important, they help me find meaning. I’m a fan of pros and cons side by side. It helps me make decisions. I also like “to do” and her sister “big ideas for later”. Lists are like friends. It’s a comfort to check in with them.

I wrote a Mother’s Day list. To keep it simple I stuck to the topic at hand. I listed 12 things because I was 12 years old. The list title? 12 Reasons You’re a Great Mom. It could have had many other titles. 12 Things I Love About You. “12 Reasons You’re the Greatest”. You get the idea. I used my best penmanship to compose a careful and kind list. My vocabulary blossomed and my mind soared. I focused on specific details to keep it special. What were the things that only I could say about only her? That kept it close to the heart. Personal particulars have that effect.

Then I found a lavender hair ribbon in the back of a drawer and rolled up the list. I tied a bow around it with the ribbon. This took the place of honor in the middle of the basket. I was ready for Mother’s Day. I didn’t spend a cent. It was a win and I knew it long before the day came. Finally, I nailed free and magical mom gifts.

Easy & Free Magical Mom Gifts

Not everybody appreciates free and magical mom gifts like this. I get that. But the thing is, Moms do. She wants to know you care. Mom appreciates when you spend time on her. Show that you thought about her. Give some consideration and gratitude. Best part of this gift is that by its very nature, it shows her she’s a fantastic mom. She did a good job.

You don’t have to spend money to prove that to her. All you have to do is show up in her life. Call her. Write her a love note. Send her a funny meme. Tell Mom you were thinking about her. These things are all free. They’re her favorite things. Mom likes them best because they came from you. It’s that easy.

SHOP TO GIVE BACK

Some shop as sport. Others out of necessity. I give it meaning when possible. That means I shop to give back. There are many ways to support artists and charities with shopping.

I try to use charity or artist-based resources whenever I shop. That means gifts, necessities, and even frivolities like this bracelet. None of the below is sponsored. I’m sharing the way I shop for real.

Shop & Give Back With Meaning

I love saving money but also love shopping at Whole Foods. Actually, I take that back. Of course I don’t love grocery shopping. I’m a normal flesh-and-blood human. That’s why I have to buy food. I gotta eat. I gotta feed my family. Whole Foods is how I like to do it.

Luckily, I heard about Thrive Market. They’re online and sell most of what Whole Foods stocks. Prices are lower. They ship it to your home. It’s fantastic for shelf stable everything. I even get my tofu from them. Turns out you don’t have to refrigerate the vacuum sealed kind. These are the luscious nuggets of learning that come from shopping with care.

Make a Difference – Shop & Give Back

Best of all, Thrive Market makes a difference. They give memberships and education to low income families. It’s thanks to paying members like me that they do this. Paying members literally fund the less fortunate. In addition, you can give back every time you buy groceries at Thrive. They have an option at checkout to donate some of your savings. Cool part is, there’s tons of savings! It feels like a win for everyone – especially me. I appreciate anything that makes me feel like a better person.

Shop, Give Back, Save, AND Help Too

Growing up I never had much money. So, I loved to shop second-hand stores. There were amazing deals on items I could never afford full price. But, even better, these donated goods meant profits for less fortunate people. It’s the ultimate upcycle for broke folks like I was.

Shop to Give Back

Shop & Give Back in Style

I first moved to New York City in 1994 for graduate school. Money was nonexistent. I lived on bulk bags of discount rice. Luckily, in addition to my rice stash, I also had a full fellowship to grad school. So, I wasn’t paying for that. But I needed three jobs anyway. City life costs beaucoup dinero. Yes, even with free room and board.

So, Housing Works was a grand discovery. It’s a NYC mecca of rich lady remainders. We’re talking real Prada bags, Marni pants, and Burberry coats, baby! It’s a poor girl’s paradise. Best of all, their goods are all donated. Profits benefit the homeless. Watch the video above to learn more about all this benevolence. It helps people move on to their next stage of life in better stead.

Of course, there are other places like this. There’s Salvation Army, Goodwill, and many others. But Housing Works is special. Their stuff is primo. It’s so cool that hipsters work the counter. Celebrities attend their annual auction. The quality of their items isn’t just about brands. Their shelves are stacked with items from a wide variety of New Yorker closets. Some shop for a living, others literally wear clothes for a living. One thing resounds about city folk, we know how to dress. Shop and give back in style.

Donations Help us Shop & Give Back for a Greater Good

I’ll give you an example from my own closet of secrets. Every year a bunch low morality ladies grapple with remorse. We are the wretched who wear fur. So what makes us feel better? Donate it! It’s like it never happened – right? You gotta check out Housing Works. Ladies gain weight, get guilty, lose weight, seek joy. There are a zillion reasons to clean a closet. I make it a policy now to always donate to Housing Works. It feels good, benefits others, and, allegedly, I’m making more room for joy.

Shop & Give Back to Support Artists

One of the greatest gifts of age is all the amazing people you meet. In my advanced years, I’ve been lucky to know tons of artists. It makes me so happy to buy their work and know it helps keep their creations coming. Artists forge a more beautiful world. Supporting them makes it a better place for all of us. If you love to shop and give back, this way supports art too.

Shop to Give Back — Necklace by *Here a Chick There a Chick*

I remember when my college friend, Kerry first started her artisanal jewelry business. She was hardcore into estate sales. Even her three young kids couldn’t quell her zeal. Every chance she got, Kerry was “huntin and pickin” – as she called it. At first she resold necklaces on Facebook.

Once in awhile she’d have a sale. It ran like a live auction but on her Facebook page. She had lots of FB friends and we all met there to buy vintage necklaces she’d scored. They were cheap and it was fun. There was no art to it yet. But then her kids got a bit older and Kerry kept going. She started making them better and selling the reconfigured necklaces. Now Kerry has a successful company, Here a Chick There a Chick, built from the bead up.

An Artist Emerges

Bit by bit she became an artist. We all watched as she transformed right before us. It was inspiring. Glorious. Our friend created the most beautiful objects out of castaways. Now she’s got a profitable and healthy business -HereaChickThereaChick.com – making gorgeous jewelry. It’s a keen reminder that what looks useless can become useful. We need to apply a bit of ingenuity. Put ourselves into it. That’s making art, baby! Anybody can be an artist. It just takes guts.

Etsy Artists – Shop & Give Back

Many people don’t know artists, though. I get it. Also, it’s not like the artists we know can meet all our needs. You need a gift for a chilly unicorn lover but none of your buddies knit unicorn sweaters. It happens. Thank goodness for Etsy. This business found a way to democratize local art. Now you don’t have to live in San Francisco or Brooklyn to buy beautiful handmade goods. What a delightful way to shop and give back.

I’ve found some of my favorite things on Etsy. Also, it satisfies something deeper to know a small-town artist made a sale. It enhances their esteem, credibility, and bottom line. That’s what artists crave. They have people telling them their work’s moving and gorgeous all the livelong day. You can give them what they want and need most – a sale.

How I shopped for my “Reclaimed Wood Handmade Table”

Handmade is my favorite way to shop and give back. In fact, I have many handmade Etsy items at home. Even the solid walnut table where I sit writing this. It’s a rustic farmhouse style and could last a lifetime. The man who built it brought the pieces in my apartment and put it together inside. That was helpful because when I move out, I know how it comes together. Sure, It was only three pieces. But the pieces are huge, heavy planks. The table is 8 feet by four. The planks are two inches thick. It’s a mighty job.

I’m grateful it won’t be a challenge other than some heavy lifting on my part. Best of all, it’s beautiful, handmade, and all natural – even the stain. I know that AND shook hands with the man who made it. Something about this makes the table feel more a part of our home. It’s not any old piece of furniture. He made it for us.

That’s why Etsy feels special. I went from needing a table to making my apartment more a home. All it took was a quick Etsy search. In this case I searched for “reclaimed wood handmade table”. Then I added dimensions and restricted the zone to local. It was easy. I found it in one brief sitting. That’s how Etsy usually works for me.