LadyKflo Mission Blog

I didn’t set out to write a blog.
I set out to live more honestly.

Somewhere between those two intentions, late December, a cold kitchen, a peeled sumo orange dripping onto the counter, I ended up here, writing a blog.

When I began the LadyKflo mission, I never imagined it would turn into this. Yet here I am, blogging. Not because it was part of a strategy, but because one of my commitments for 2025 was to live more according to my purpose. That meant checking in, periodically and without flinching, to see whether my actions actually match who I aim to be in the world.

I want to be a writer in the world.

I’ve written professionally for years, but this is different. This kind of writing isn’t about output or polish. It’s about necessity. About meeting this lifelong need I have to use my words.

If it were that urgent, you might think I would’ve started sooner. But it’s late December as I finally begin this project. That hesitation tells you how vulnerable this is for me. Writing like this requires exposure. It asks for the kind of honesty usually reserved for journals, not websites. And LadyKflo, until now, hasn’t gone there.

The First LadyKflo Mission: Art

I launched the original LadyKflo in late December of 2019, exactly seven years ago to the day I’m writing this. Sister Wendy Beckett had just died.

She was a hero of mine, an endearing, deeply intelligent art historian who devoted her life to democratizing art. She spoke plainly, joyfully, without pretense, and somehow made centuries of visual culture feel intimate and accessible. Her death hit me harder than I expected, and in that moment, the first LadyKflo mission was born.

At that time, LadyKflo was about art. And it needed to be. Art gave me a place to stand slightly to the side of myself—fully present, but protected. I felt safe there.

Over the years, people often suggested I write a blog as well. I resisted for two reasons. First, the original mission was clear and specific. Second, and more honestly, I liked hiding behind the LadyKflo persona. Blogs, the good ones, reveal the writer. Not the brand. Not the concept. The person.

The LadyKflo Mission to Get Real

Dooce was the writer who made that reality undeniable.

Heather Armstrong wrote with an unmistakable voice, sharp, funny, and raw. She dove naked into the trials of motherhood, mental illness, and identity with a clarity that made readers feel as if they truly knew her. Her blog didn’t just entertain; it created intimacy. You could hear her in the sentences because she gave you all of herself, darkness and light in equal measure.

I admired that deeply.

Earlier today, while thinking about her writing, an image came to me as I ate my favorite winter snack: a massive, chilled sumo orange. Reading Dooce felt like that, each segment peeled and offered willingly, juicy and whole. Nothing withheld.

I assumed she was still blogging. The last time I checked, she was earning around $50K a month doing it. While working on the LadyKflo mission, I googled her to find the date of her first post.

That’s when I learned she died in 2023.

I wish I could say it shocked me. Instead, it produced a specific kind of sadness, the kind that arrives when a quiet dread turns out to be justified. A recognition rather than a surprise.

Lineage, Illness, and Ease on the Page

Sister Wendy Beckett and Heather Armstrong had little in common on the surface. But they were both generous, insightful writers. And they both lived with serious illness.

Sister Wendy had epilepsy and ultimately left her original teaching order because of it. Dooce spoke openly about depression, hospitalization, alcoholism, and finally took her own life.

Neither of them had easy lives. And yet their work is effortless to read.

That contrast matters to me. I’ve been an ardent reader my entire life, and I only wish I enjoyed writing as much as I love reading the work of writers like these. But when I write regularly and let myself drop in, I remember who I am. I get back into the groove. I become a real writer again.

The Personal LadyKflo Mission

This blog is my return to that state.

Not as an art historian. Not as a persona. But as myself.

When I was a teenager, I carried a classic black Moleskine everywhere. Starting in junior high, I filled notebook after notebook with unapologetic intensity, relentlessly, for years. I had to buy a new notebook every month on a frequently-fired babysitter’s income.

Somewhere along the way to my fifties, that kind of writing gave way to more strategic forms. Useful forms. But quieter ones.

The LadyKflo mission blog exists to change that.

Here, I’ll write the way Dooce did, offering segments instead of conclusions. Stories instead of arguments. I’ll address you the way I share with friends, and I’ll tell these stories as if we’re sitting together, unhurried.

This isn’t content. It’s practice.
It’s presence.
It’s me, peeled open, one honest piece at a time.

If you’re here for that kind of reading, you’re already exactly where you belong.

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Crone Advice from Kflo

Why take advice from me? As a rule, advice is crap – I agree. But as a 55 year old New Yorker, I’ve seen some things. I also promise to give your question thoughtful consideration. It’s juicy stuff to reflect upon after you’ve completely ignored my advice.